It's all my mother's fault.
She named me after a French Holocaust survivor and child psychologist who had been one of Joseph Mengele's Twin experiments .
Dr. "X" had refused Mengele's direct order to kill her twin,
even with a syringe full of phenol aimed at her own heart.
She was only 19 at the time. Mom's age.
She survived and was living in London when Mom read about it.
An interview in "Life"; her life was the basis for a character in QBVII.
No one knows what happened to the twin.
That must be why I'm always
feeling like a missing twin.
Like I survived, but at what cost?
Like I always know when my sister or brother is dying,
over and over,
and I feel, not just the terror and regret of Moses' big Jewish sister,
and the sense of pre destined duty of Pharoah's daughter,
but also, the avenging shame of Ishmael.
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